When your day starts with a mess, fills in with screaming, and ends with a large bottle of whine after bedtime with no hope for a better tomorrow... well, that's just every day. I have no magic cure to end days like that. But I do know that if I didn't harness the power to walk away and close myself in a room to breathe for 4 minutes every now and then that I'd be a full time resident in the local looney bin.
Kids take and take and take some more all day long. They take our energy, our patience, our brains, our muscles... and abuse them. All day long, every day of the week. Those moments when I'm ready to blow a head gasket or I feel like bundling up in the fetal position when I spot the spilled milk all over the floor I just swept and mopped, I like to leave the room. I excuse myself and tell my children to play in another room and not to enter the room with the mess & I will clean it in a few moments after I take a quick break. This isn't like every mess holy crap I can't handle this, but I know you've had a day (or 50 days) worth of insanity in your household from the moment you woke up to the moment your 18 year sentences rest their head on the pillow. They look so sweet and angelic sound asleep, and my love for them just flows. But I remember the look of the devil in their eyes for the last 13 hours so I'm also feeling very thankful that I can finally breathe.
It's okay to take a break. When you're overwhelmed, frustrated, upset, distraught, whatever the emotion--you start to parent out of those feelings versus what the situation actually warrants for discipline. We can take that accident and turn it into a teachable moment if we step in the locked bathroom for a few moments to compose ourselves like rational, understanding, loving beings instead of half mom-half fire breathing-flesh eating demon dragons.
Ever screamed or over reacted over a situation just because you felt so pissed off? Yeah, we all have. We're human. And sometimes it's okay, but sometimes it's time for a quick breather. We have to teach our kids right from wrong, actions and consequences. If they messed up, they need to know.
I don't drink often but I can tell you without a drink, I'd be finding some Xanax or Ativan in the local ER having a nervous break down. Take a moment at the end of the day after your kid is asleep, leave the housework alone (trust me it's not going anywhere, you know nobody else is going to do it! HA!), and go find something you really like to do. A movie or show, a puzzle, a video game, an exercise routine, a book, a nap, a bubble bath.... Breathe easy, forget about all the bullshit in your life for a few minutes and give back to yourself. Without you, there would be nobody to run your house or your life. Everything would fall to shambles and be a chaotic mess. And for goodness sake, go pour yourself a drink.
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