The last two nights I've missed a call from my grandmother because the kids were running around screaming and I knew they wouldn't calm down enough for me to step out of the room and talk. Well last night Married Mom had a late appointment and I offered to watch her little boy, make supper and wait until she got home. I made a nice supper, made sure everyone had drinks, a show they all enjoyed watching, the house work was completely caught up on so I thought "what a perfect time to call Grammie back."
I went in the room and got everyone situated. I made sure all the potty jobs were done and everyone would be 100% content so I could step out of the room for a 15 minute phone call. I let them know I was on an important call, that it would be a little while and asked if they were all okay and content. They said that's fine."Okay, so you need to solve your own problems, work as a team, play nicely, and be friendly to everyone with our hands and voices please, unless someone is very hurt and there is an emergency do not interrupt me." All three kids agreed and were playing nicely so I stepped out and called my grandmother. 3 minutes into the conversation I hear running footsteps to the glass door. There is my youngest daughter who says "MOOOOOOOOOOOM! MOMMMMM! HEY MOMMY! MOM!! HEY I TALKIN' TO YOU! MOMMA LISTEN!!!!" The entire time she's doing this I'm waving my hands in the "Go away" motion, then the finger to the lips "SHHH" motion, and then the cut it out motion" Finally she gets the idea and walks away. Then MM's little boy comes running saying my name in the most dramatic way, over and over again, changing the sound of it the way the last kiddo did with saying mom. He isn't taking the hand gestures at all. He proceeds to knock and yell loudly at me. I'm still jumping around with all the hand motions and he's just getting more and more mad that I'm not saying Yes or what in reply to my name a good 800 times. He walks away and I hear him yell something at the girls. Then my oldest comes up and gives a try. She knows better then to harass me on the phone so after a few sets of hand motions she gets the idea and goes back and I hear her say "Mom is on the phone and we need to stop bugging her. I think she's getting mad" I smile like YES! they finally get it and will leave me be for just 10 minutes. All the while I'm Mhm'ing and oh that's good to my grandmother but she continues on talking without a clue of what is going on at my house. MM's son comes running back. I thought my kids were persistant. He is persistant. Then my youngest daughter joins him. The two are saying the same things they have been saying that I'm not responding to so to which I whisper "You need to stop" "That's enough, play friendly" "You know what, I really don't care right now. Go work it out" "I didn't do anything, go talk to the person that you're mad at." "I'm on the phone, knock it off, find your patience, and wait for me to come back" and doing all the dancing hand motions to knock it off, cut it out, shush, go away AND listening to my grandmother telling me what's going on AND talking sweetly and calming back to her saying "Oh Grammy that's great" "Oh how lovely!" "Amen for good news!" and so on.... I seriously looked like a schizophrenic bipolar maniac mom with tourettes syndrome. I finally get off the phone. I go in and say "SERIOUSLY? I needed 15 minutes for an important phone call, asked you to please leave me alone so I could do it and you all bugged me the entire time. PLEASE tell me what was so important"
My oldest says "Well, she hit him because he took her toy"
"okay, who had the toy first?" My oldest says my youngest had it, my youngest says she had and and then I ask MM's son who says "Addie TAKED it because I played with that yesterday so it's still my turn so I taked it from her hands and she hitted me!!!" with the angriest tone and the most grumpy scowling pissed off face. I'm half angry that this is even the situation that was so important and half amused. I reply "Well, did you have it in your hands" "No, she had it but it was still my turn so shes a stealer!" "NO MY AM NOT! MY HAD THIS FIRST!" my little one rebuttals. Okay... "I'm ruling this a no fault. If you didn't steal the toy from her hands she wouldn't of hit you, you have to share. Everyone has to share. We all are friends and we need to act that way. Case closed, not another word about it"
Man, I would sure kill to have a phone call without interruption or a pee break without my little 18 year sentence staring at me....
-SM
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