Sex and the stay at home mom.

Now, I'm not saying all men are like this. But mine is.

My husband is one of those men that seem to think that because he works outside of the home he gets to claim that he some how he works harder then me. He comes home, takes a shit for about 30 minutes and then makes his way to one of two places, either A: his computer or B: Back out to the kitchen to find out what I'm making for dinner that night. Now if he makes his way into the bedroom he typically is on his computer till I call him for dinner. This has been happening a lot less lately due to my constant bitching at him about it and pleading for more help. When he makes his way to the kitchen if I say I'm super tired and want to do cereal or something simple he grumbles in annoyance as he practically strains himself to put some frozen chicken nuggets into the oven. Sometimes after a hard day of my kiddo driving me right up into the wine glass I like to sit down and play video games or write or do stupid shit on Facebook or twitter. Here lies the problem. My husband seems to think that because I stay home all day I shouldn't need a break. He argues with me that he works so much harder and that staying home with our son is not that hard. "What do you even do all day?" is another question I've been asked. Well lets see, I cook, I clean, and when I mean clean I actually mean clean the same area at least 4 times, and I run around chasing after our demon spawn that we have so joyously brought into the world. And I'm not saying I don't love my job as being a housewife, but it is work. And not even physically, but emotionally and mentally, because after having to listen to the same show for the 14th time this week I am about ready to crack.

Now his way of thinking wouldn't bother me so much if he helped out more then just once in a blue moon. If I can get him to do a load of dishes OR switch over the laundry at some point in the week, then its a good week. For the most part these things don't bother me all that much. But it pisses me off to no end when I am being told to my face that he will do something, and then it doesn't get done. Don't fucking tell me you're going to do something and then not fucking do it. For example, I was told that he would switch over the laundry for me so my sons coat would be dry in the morning. Well, he lays in bed and I ask, "Hey did you switch the laundry over?" He forgot. He promises he will do it in the morning before leaving for work. I say okay and go to sleep. I get up in the morning, and the laundry did not get changed over. Just as I expected. I end up just doing it myself and muttering curse words such as "That motherfucker" and "Ohhh I swear I'm going to bitch him the fuck out when he gets home." And don't even get me started on the FULL trash can in the kitchen that he didn't empty this morning even though its his fucking family responsibility to make sure its not full when he leaves. FUCK.

Its like this all the time.

Now what does this have to do with doing the nasty. EVERYTHING. Listen up men, the saying Happy Wife. Happy Life is true, at least for me. See, hubby's idea of romance is groping me as I get into bed and then asking how I would feel about sliding my underwear off. And our lack of intimacy is a problem, for him. Me, zero fucks are given. By the end of most nights I'm tired, I'm cranky and I just want to mindlessly kill monsters or zone out to some Law and Order: SVU. This got my best friend and blog buddy and I talking. Do I as a woman use sex to try to change my husband's behavior? Do I make my hubby earn it? Yes and no. While I don't consciously ever put on my hubby on sex probation, the way he acts does effect whether or not I put out. Shocking, because there is nothing more arousing then feeling unappreciated. The formula to get me going is so simple, and all it costs is some time and consideration. Let me take a break and don't hold it against me later. Offer to do the dishes, and then follow through and do them after I make dinner. Show some interest in how my day has been. If I feel like I'm appreciated and I matter, and you see me as more then just your maid the idea of a horizontal cuddle doesn't seem like so much work.